Welcome to Agony Aunty! Every month the Agony Aunty gives YOU advice on your problems. If you’d like them to weigh in your life, email them at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line “Agony Aunty.”
Hey, it’s Lurked and Got Hurt! Is it stupid to be upset when someone you are dating is liking photos of other girls on social media? I feel oversensitive for feeling this way, but it genuinely really bothers me. I feel weird saying anything because I so deeply WANT to be chill, and this reaction feels like quite the opposite.
Hey, Lurked and Got Hurt. Social media is weird. “Likes” often communicate something different than we intend, and sometimes they aren’t intended to communicate anything at all. Where do we draw the line? Obviously, this is communicating something unsavory to you and you should always own your feelings. You feel what you feel! If you confront that feeling with the person you are dating, it is simply to express how something makes you feel, and you may need to tread carefully so it doesn’t come off as accusatory.
Everything about being alive right now is a grey area, and Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and even the Venmo friend feed make it all way harder to navigate. Not everything needs a meaning attached to it! It’s just the world we live in. If it’s making you feel some type of way, you owe it to yourself to communicate your feelings. No one can read your mind, so speak now or forever swallow the poison of your doubt. So what if you don’t look “chill?” Feeding into the narrative of aloofness is not healthy because we already live in a world where society as a whole is incredibly jaded. Make it easier for yourself and the people around you by being honest about things that bother you when they bother you!
I don’t know about you, but festering emotions feels like a burning UTI in my soul — maybe honesty is just a cranberry flavored antidote.
Make it easier for yourself and the people around you by being honest about things that bother you when they bother you!
Hey! It’s BooBoo The Fool. I matched with a guy on DilMil a year ago and it’s long distance, but he has been pursuing me despite it since then. I tried to keep him at bay emotionally for a while, but now I am getting quite attached. Talking to him has limited me from other people, because I enjoy getting to know him and quite frankly I don’t want to get to know anyone else.
Things with the whole “talking stage” nowadays have become a bit drawn out, and I feel as though I am now a victim of it and I hate it! He has agreed to meet up in the near future, but has been weird ever since he proposed this idea. Is he playing me?
Hey, BooBoo The Fool. Operating under the mindset that someone is keeping you as their ONLY option is dangerous, especially since you are confronting a lot of doubt for this guy. How are you a victim? You have the power to communicate your thoughts and feelings about this situationship. You have obviously made up your mind about it, but does he know that? Don’t waste your best years living in fear or doubt, especially without communicating what you’re feeling — especially communicating your TRUE feelings to yourself.
This problem seems to bring up more about your mindset than him. You cannot control him or the outcome of what may or may not happen in a month. Worry about yourself first. Think about why you have this fear and figure out how to overcome it. Where is the assumption that he’s playing you coming from? What has your subconscious compounded from this situation to produce that doubt? Think about the root of your thoughts and fears. Be smart about where you invest your time. We apply this mindset with our finances, professions, relationships, etc., but what about the relationship we should be growing with ourselves?