Monday, March 19

March Horoscopes: Our Animal Histories

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As we transition to spring, the world becomes more lively. Take heed from astrological animal guides.


Dolphins are more empathically evolved than humans. The cortex of their brains are more developed in that way, more lit up. They show more compassion and so it’s no wonder that they are more creatively gifted as well. Think of the dolphin this month, Aries. She’s playful, she’s emotional, she twists and flips in front of a mirror. Her tinkling giggle sounds otherwordly. This is an Aries’ purest essence.


Elephants think humans are cute in the same way humans think puppies are cute. How does this make you think about our true autonomy, Taurus? We are connected to everyone and everything. It is difficult for you to let go of love. It’s a way of being that you are comfortable with. There’s a lot of things that make elephants steady. One is their capacity to love.


For how much hummingbirds talk and flit, they need their nourishment in potent, digestable bits. Because their energy demands are high, their metabolism is high. Those red, syrupy concoctions in people’s backyards always looked a little dubious to me. Might you gather the will this month to avoid designer nectar and find what’s more nourishing? The reward might not feel as good. But it will stabilize you a bit for flight.


According to Merriam Webster, the word “turtle” has hellish origins, based on the Latin bestia tartarucha, meaning “infernal beast.” While they are portrayed as dulcet creatures, they are also animals of terrifying strength and power. More than in the slow-and-steady-wins-the-race kind of way. Some of them can actually bite your hand off.  This month, you might consider playing with what lends itself to nuzzling and what lends itself to canceling.


Puma sightings are only reported at dusk or dawn. When they appear, they have something to tell you. Their bodies are strange and sinuous, like a human’s. Their faces have a goddess-like quality, and they’re OK with looking straight at you. They are fiercely enigmatic and nurturing, and one of the most spiritually evolved mountain cats. If you Google search “cougar sighting,” many reports are venerative. As spring inches closer, how does your spirit gather?


Cats are historical staples in the realms of spirituality, superstition, the occult, internet humor, and more. Despite this, they are underrated guides and overlords, much like the infamous Virgo. They are Yoda’s of the human world. In the dark, their eyes light up as bright as headlights and lanterns. We are in the seasonal transition from dark to light, and this excites you. How will you play with your sensual energies?


Birds-of-paradise have stunning and bizarre courtship dances. This is because they are so beautiful. Only a bird that beautiful would be habituated to such reproductive acts and motives. What is bewitching about you, Libra? With spring in your line of sight, it’s a good time to harness your weird talents and embrace your quirks. You might be surprised at how much you’ve been envied all this time.


The chukar partridge is the national bird of Pakistan. It is rumored to solely survive on moonbeams. It stares at the moon longingly because it is so in love with it. In Disney’s “Princess and the Frog,” the dragonfly is devoted to his lover, a star. In endearment he says, “she doesn’t talk much,” and this never bothers him. Who are the stars and moons in your life?


Doves symbolize creativity, freedom, and purity. What is so striking about these creatures is that they continue to thrive in urbanized and polluted spaces, singing their songs and purring their lullabies and good-mornings. And despite all the horrors of the world, they continue to carry these rare combinations of traits. They’re even a little shy. You are sign that stays true and functional in a complex world. But are you making any trade-offs?


Crows are among the most intelligent birds. They cross the street with the ease and volition of humans, placing nuts in front of cars in hopes of the impact breaking them open. The University of Washington has studied them extensively. They judge you and they’re pretty good at it. They hang out where the vibe feels worthy. And their packs are called murders. How are you wielding your power this month, Capricorn?


Panthers are majestic, coveted creatures. They’re intense, loyal, and mysterious. It’s nearly impossible to penetrate their inner psyches but they’re eerily skilled at unpacking your’s. This is an Aquarian skill and it makes you a great detective. Let’s not forget about their kitty-like qualities, though. You can surprise others with your full frontal vulnerability. Who are you going to nuzzle this month, Aquarius, and how often will you do it?


Pigs are smarter than–yet similar to–dogs so it’s interesting that they are not more common as domestic pets. Actually, this makes complete sense. They are sensitive and manipulative. No matter how big they get, they are perpetual infants and struggle with boundaries. They make good energy readers and have incredible insight into who will give them what they want. But they need to be babied. How can you parent yourself, Pisces?


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