The Suitable Girl

The Suitable Girl: Overweight for an Asian Woman

February 26, 2019

Back in February, I went to the doctor for a general checkup. “You should work on losing weight,” my doctor said, looking coolly over her notes. “Asian women are usually slim. You’re overweight for an Asian woman.” For most of my life, my body and I were friends. I didn’t have unreasonable expectations of it, … Read More

The Suitable Girl: Sari Fears

October 2, 2018

The women in my family are columns of silk when they wear saris. Statuesque, taller somehow, unattainable in their grace and assuredness, as if they wore the fabric like power. They took small steps but also long strides. They wore high heels that daggered into the floor of hotel ballrooms, leaving behind tiny indentations in … Read More

The Suitable Girl: Consenting From a Place of Power

January 19, 2018

I have read many, many, many arguments online regarding the story that was released this weekend about a woman who goes by “Grace” and her date with a well-known comedian. Some say it’s a matter of assault others talk about the non-vocal nuances of sexal relationships, where anything short of a forceful “no” could be … Read More

The Suitable Girl: Soft and Brown

December 11, 2017

To my untempered, half-grown adolescent brain there were two modes for sexuality: on and off. Either you were turned on or you were going about your day with the dial set firmly to “off.” The only thing in between was the small tingle that raised your skin and sent a shiver down your back. That … Read More

The Suitable Girl: A Love Letter To Kevin G

October 3, 2016

On October 3rd, let us all together say “Damn, Africa.” It’s been a long time since Mean Girls came out. As I dwell on the fact that I am 12 years older than when I first saw it with my parents, both confused and amused in equal measure, I am forced to confront the fact that … Read More

The Suitable Girl: Dil Mil vs. Kama

August 19, 2016

I mean, does it really matter? This piece comes by special request and also cuz it needed to be done. When it comes to dating apps you have your Tinder, your Coffee Meets Bagel, your OKCupid, and your Bumble. Each has its respective demographic — Coffee Meets Bagel is for introverts looking for something longterm, OKCupid is for weird … Read More

The Suitable Girl: I waxed my mustache for this?

July 1, 2016

I have a friend who will spend that whole first hour of a first date on the phone, asking her date to buy her drinks, if there’s obviously no attraction. At least she’s honest about her intentions. I have other friends who will sit around uncomfortably, waiting to be excused so they can go home … Read More

The Suitable Girl: #NotAPrize

April 22, 2016

“You’re only in trouble when you get caught.” I spent so many afternoons as a kid laid out on my carpet, my stomach pressed into the yarn while my legs swung behind me, watching Disney movies. My grandparents’ video store always kept me well-stocked on VHS tapes, and I would watch them until they broke … Read More

The Suitable Girl: *Cue Musical Number*

March 31, 2016

I am currently suffering through my first debilitating New York allergy season. So while I’ve been laid up in bed I’ve been making full use of Netflix’s amazing Bollywood library. And because all great epiphanies come when you’re weak and your guard’s been lowered, I realized something: cheesy Bollywood movies from the 90s shaped my … Read More

The Suitable Girl: Am I Allowed To Say Dusky?

March 21, 2016

After a hard day’s running around in the sun kicking a ball or kicking another child, my mother would bring me inside and rub my skin with a mixture of cucumber pulp and milk. Why, I would ask. To keep you from getting dark, she would say. As the somewhat duskier child of a fair mother, … Read More

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